by Christopher Hessman
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Author's program note. This is a story of my Cambridge, Massachusetts neighborhood and of the clever administrators who, when the forces of revolution, in the persons of Occupy Harvard, through a simple, if unparalleled expedient, showed the unwashed elite intent on mayhem, just why they weren't going to get it.
This is the story of the young and self-dubbed "idealistic"... who "captured" the undefended citadel of a great institution, pitching their pathetic pup tents at the very foot of John Harvard himself... expecting surrender, kudos, and the front page and editorial favor of the New York Times; then watched themselves become, day by day, a foolish anachronism, rightly snickered at and derided; and at the last embarrassing, uncool.
It is the story of the original alma mater of this Continent who, whilst no doubt exasperated by these her erring children, used a smidgeon of its abundant parental wisdom so that the misbehaving youngsters in her charge were gently taken in hand, chagrined and frustrated of course, but not humiliated. For Harvard, corporate giant that it is, still remembers that it is an institution where young people -- so intelligent, each and every one of them -- must be allowed the foibles of their slender years; admonition and rebuke being the order of the day, not censure and the spanking they truly deserve and which would do them a world of good.
This is the story of how Occupy Harvard, ignored, derided, ridiculed, threw in the unwashed towel, always claiming victory of course, and went home to mom and dad, just in time for Santa Claus, little knowing they had already encountered him in the persons of the wise solons of the university; that their biggest present this season was the respectful treatment, care, even courtesy they received while acting out their petulance and selfishness in the Yard that is the beating heart of Harvard.
To get yourself in the mood for this true tale of our times, start by going to any search engine and find the Harvard Fight Song, "10,000 men of Harvard" and let its bold assurance set the pace for your day and my story. It has absolutely the right brass and total assurance that we ancient grads are feeling today as the immemorial gates of Harvard swing open again after the outrage of locking them in the first place and keeping them locked for 39 long, dreary days.
The tale begins.
Harvard and every single one of its students and grads would like to feel, no, do feel that here in Cambridge the best and brightest gather and under its antediluvian timbers and in the midst of every knowledge Past, Present, and Future; yes gather, for nothing less than to craft the future of this planet and of Mankind. This is the Harvard Mystique; whether it is true or not is irrelevant; for every man of Harvard and every woman of Harvard too, would suffer painful and fatal dismemberment before admitting otherwise. Thus the Mystique, and its very practical consequences, abides.
This Mystique was affronted by, irritated by, and irked and inconvenienced by the pip squeaks who thought they could upend the established order of things hereabouts by planting their ultra privileged posteriors in the mud, and while proclaiming their sanctity and superiority go in pursuit of Something to Advocate. For make no mistake about it, they came to indulge the delights of revolution without a single item of revolutionary intent. These had to be found, even manufactured. And thus they were truly rebels without a cause. But all the other kids of their generation were indulging their penchant for community play time and fatuity; they wanted some of the fun for themselves.
And so they, free to move into the Yard, did so, rapscallions mouthing the flatulent and facile rodomontades of revolution, whilst continuing to take their hot and delicious meals in the convenient refectory, bills dispatched to daddy in the usual fashion. Never before in the annals of human affairs has revolution been so casual, so effortless and so well served.
In loco parentis. What should be done?
Once ensconced, the rebels proceeded to make a menace of themselves; not because of the high value and necessity for their demands; for they were scrambling to find such. No, the real danger was to them... and the university authorities rightly took heed to the very real likelihood that their presence would prove irresistible to the flotsam and jetsam of derelict humanity just feet away in Harvard Square where so many make an uncomfortable home and living, preying on the feckless students of Harvard, too young to know how exploited they are and how much at risk. To the revolutionaries, these are the "people", and they must be saved; thus mistaking who is victim and what is necessary.
And so for the first time in its storied history, since its very foundation in 1636, the great gates, the celebrated gates, the massive historical gates with the proud insignia of ages, these gates swung shut, padlocked and guarded. No one but bona fide students living in the Yard could get in... and this meant graduates like me, a Cambridge dweller, too, and close by, who all view the 25 acres of the Yard as our personal park and estate.
So, the responsible authorities of the university gathered to mull over what they should do, for the good of the institution, the students who came (mirabile dictu) to study and better themselves, and the revolutionaries who needed the utmost protection of all. What should be done for the greatest good of the greatest number?
And some inspired soul at this meeting of high consequence said, "Close the gates." The suggestion, unprecedented, audacious, unexpected, was in fact inspired... for it gave succor to those who needed it (always, remember, including the sophomoric revolutionaries themselves) while depriving those revolutionaries of what they most needed and had to have: an audience.
At once the great leveling revolution and its wet-behind-the-ears practitioners took on an air of irrelevance, far from the event of cosmic significance Harvard students always assume whatever they do must be. They dreamed of sweeping consequence and imperial panoramas, but the best they could come up with was working to get a pay increase for the custodial staff, happily willing to let the students advocate for them, and so, from perceived oppression, show their wiles.
The revolutionaries threw the obligatory "teach in" where the absence of rhetoric, declamation, and logic from the Harvard curriculum was glaringly revealed. They shouted, too, for a review of Harvard's massive investment portfolio, sure that profits were being made by investors without social conscience. But it was much ado about nothing. And so, day by day, without auditors, fervor waned along with the temperatures of bone-chilling December. The revolution sputtered to an ignominious conclusion.
With white gloves...
Winston Churchill, so often so apt, once said, "When you hang a man, don't forget the white gloves." And perhaps this sentiment was conscious as Harvard, having seen the diminution of the revolution and grasped the growing desire of both students and revolutionaries alike for parlay, suggested a face-saving summit conference with all the honors... therefore offering a way out for the embarrassed and disdained occupiers; gates to be open, all but a symbolic token of revolution to be dismantled.
And so in approved Harvard fashion, the hapless revolutionaries will face their extinction today; thence to go home for the holidays extolling all the mighty deeds they did not do. Whilst Harvard, fair Harvard, endures, its great caravan encompassing the globe, majestic, whilst the little hyena yaps no more.
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About the Author
Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide range of online services for small and-home based businesses.
Services include home business training, affiliate marketing training, earn-at-home programs, traffic tools, advertising, webcasting, hosting, design, WordPress Blogs and more. Find out why Worldprofit is considered the # 1 online Home Business Training program by getting a free Associate Membership today. Republished with author's permission by Christopher Hessman <a href="http://ProvenAutomatedBiz.com">http://ProvenAutomatedBiz.com</a>. Check out Siphon Traffic Listbuilder -> http://www.ProvenAutomatedBiz.com/?rd=ru2RVOdV
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